Today I sent a card to my little brother. I addressed it to my childhood home in Wichita, the home I moved into at age 4, and out of at age 14. My parents are renting this house to my brother and his new wife, as of July 16th. I can't believe he is returning to his first home to live as a grown up. It is an address full of memories from a far off life.
I remember the day that we moved to Friendswood...August 11th, 1987. I sat on that porch, unable to comprehend the change that was about to ensue. I was angrily excited and resentfully hopeful at the idea of living in this new place..as my home. It would be the first adventure in an incredible journey of moves I have endured and enjoyed throughout my life.
I have lived on St. Paul, St. Louis, Gow, Westfield, Killarney, some street in Richmond, VA, University, West Street, Hillcrest, Kellogg, Warren Avenue, 31st Street, Sandridge, Lawton, Swallow, Vans Way and Eldorado Drive. How I used to envy those friends who'd had the same room in the same house on the same street in the same town ALL their lives! In college I'd pout about being "homeless", as I'd snuggle into the same familiar, comfy couch that traveled to different houses throughout the country....Virginia, Oklahoma, Texas, California...resting on the fact that where that couch (& my Mom) was would always be home. God is so good to prepare us for our life journey. He cushioned me with that couch long ago, readying me for the future he'd promised in Jeremiah 29:11. I love that he knows me better than I know myself. I love that HE knows that I HATE being NEW!!!!! I am transformed, each time I move, back into my turtle shell. I know He laughs at me as I peek my head out, and watch for months before I actually let myself out. It is my biggest challenge: my personality. Maybe it's my "thorn" that Paul speaks of in 2 Cor.12. I have learned from this challenge that He cares for me and provides for me and when I take the risk and emerge from my dark, lonely little cave I've created to protect myself, He's still there....waiting. Waiting for me to rest in Him, rely on Him, trust Him, yield to His will and step out in faith that there are exciting things about to happen because He IS faithful. After all these years of traveling, I'm sure of one thing. There are blessings to be had in the risk of the step. There are friends that I've made that I'm so glad I met and wouldn't trade the time with or the sadness of leaving for anything. Memories flood my mind of the GIFTS I've been given who have touched me and made me, influencing part of who I am. Who I am is made up of many wonderful people who've in one way or another poured into my soul a piece of themselves. In order to do that, they too must have gotten out of the human shell around them and taken a risk, all for the sake of little me and the idea that a friendship could happen. Someday I'll write more about friendship, but for now....I'm still homeless living in eager anticipation for what is to come and the idea of a HOME with my Father. The couch that I clung to in college is gone (or at least very stinky and old) but the bed that I lay down in at night is my own temporary traveling couch on a journey through the life that God has given me. I don't see what God sees. He has the script, and I just follow and hope and trust and keep on, keepin' on. My home is with Him. He is my dwelling place. He is my Home.
"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile, we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.
Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." or as The Message puts it...."He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less."
2 Corinthians 5:1-4
