RESPECT

I found an article from Focus on the Family, that I thought I'd share because it gives great points about how teaching respect is really biblical teaching, and how to apply it to everyday situations.

Here are few points I pulled from it:

"Disrespect is the primary root of disobedience. Looking through Scripture, Adam and Eve sinned because they did not respect God's command. Cain killed Abel because he did not respect his brother's life. Lying, stealing, vandalism, strife and disobedience stem from an attitude of disrespect toward someone or something.

When your toddler pulls the dog's tail or your teenager rolls her eyes, it's — you guessed it — disrespect....

When my kids were younger, they often heard me say, "You don't have to agree with me or like me right now, but you will be respectful." They know I'll accept nothing less from them, and they know that I will show them respect. When a situation is about others, my response is, "Our family treats people (or animals or possessions) with respect."

By using "we" language, you let your child know your correction isn't just about him and one infraction. Living respectfully is about holding to a standard that is good for everyone. You don't have to memorize a long list of rules. You don't have to sort through every incident to figure out which rule was broken so that you can decide what to do about it. By making respect your one non-negotiable standard, you lighten the load.

Emphasizing respect and honoring people are biblical concepts. Believers are told to respect the law (Proverbs 13:13), honor parents (Deuteronomy 5:16) and live lives worthy of respect (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12). With respect woven throughout Scripture, it's no wonder that it makes for a strong foundation for family and offers meaningful reward.

When I set a standard of respect in my home, the reward was relationship. My children became people I liked to have around. They trusted me as someone who respected and believed in them. Peace reigned and communication flowed between us."

The key to respect is just like in marriage....give and take. You can't expect to get respect if you don't give it yourself. May your home be full of peace and harmony, and may God be the master of your house.

Our Team

We have always believed in strongly encouraging the "team effort", as a family. We do life as a team. We all carry the same last name, so this bonds us together and makes us a team. As a member of the Martin team, you are expected to represent us well in public, showing respect, not only for yourself, but for the other members of your team, especially the team manager/aka Dad. For more on this concept, my friend, Brenna, a fellow PW & SPARK Ministry sister, wrote this book, Coach Mom: 7 Strategies for Organizing Your Family into an All-Star Team.

Little Box of Words

My grandparent's house was full of treasures. (Isn't everyone's?) One thing I remember most vividly was a little box of scriptures that was kept in the kitchen or on the dining table. It was wooden, with thin, rectangular cards donning a different verse on each one. It brought great memories of learning how special God's Word is and seeing how important it is to our family just to have this in our home. So off I went to find a scripture keeper box and I found this one at our sweet little Christian bookstore in town. Our hope, now that school has started again, is to eat dinner around the table more. Summer has been full of great outdoor grilled dinners, but it's time to come inside. Before we eat, we take turns reading a scripture and talking about what it means, then saying our prayer. I try to bring it back up throughout the meal, depending on our conversations. I want to teach my children the importance of chewing on & meditating on God's Words, and how easily they apply to the dailiness of our lives.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deut. 6:5-9

Mother's Day Weekend

• Brunch with my RPC sisters, Mom, Melissa, Carrie, & Alan's Mom
• Tea with my Aunt Dalene, Mom, sister & cousins ...aka the Hutson girls
• Church with my parents
• Birthday Dinner with my parents!
• New pool lounge chair & beach towel from my parents!
• New Laura Bush book & pool float [complete with cup holders!] from my husband and kids!
• Card & Necklace made with love from my Grace
• Lunch with my Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law and her in-laws
• Evening resting
• Dreaming of the new little life joining our family in November.
• Thankful for the women in my life who've made me who I am.
• Thankful for the loving husband and beautiful children who made me a Mom.
• Blessed to be exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.

For PKs of the world

People are disappointing. They will stab you in the back. They will befriend you only to judge you, then leave. They will see you around town but pretend they don't. They will speak lies against your family. They will not give you grace. People will disappoint you.

Being the pastor's kid comes with this reality. My heart breaks thinking that this is the lesson learned from serving church people for so many years. My heart can take this reality because of the scabbed over wounds of the past, but my children I want to protect. I want to guard their fragile hearts.

Brad & I are reading A.W. Tozer books over this holiday together. In "The Pursuit of God" Tozer talks about relationships which reminds me of this and how I can teach my children to survive this reality of disappointment.

In determining relationships we must begin somewhere. There must be somewhere a fixed center against which everything else is measured, where the law of relativity does not enter and we can say "IS" and make no allowances. Such a center is God. When God would make His name known to mankind He could find no better word than "I AM." when we speak of Him we say, "He is"; when we speak to Him we say, "Thou art." Everyone and everything else measures from that fixed point. "I AM THAT I AM," (Exodus 3:14) says God, "I change not" (Malachi 3:6)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

This is the promise I'm standing on and committing to teach my children.

Parental Rights

There are so many reasons why parents need to have the freedom to educate and care for and teach their children as they choose. HERE IS the first reason:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

The PARENTAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT:

SECTION 1
The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children is a fundamental right.

SECTION 2
Neither the United States nor any State shall infringe upon this right without demonstrating that its governmental interest as applied to the person is of the highest order and not otherwise served.

SECTION 3
No treaty may be adopted nor shall any source of international law be employed to supersede, modify, interpret, or apply to the rights guaranteed by this article.

20 things you need to know about the UN CRC

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Family Night

Tonight we are having an "ICE AGE" family night! Kids are laying on pallets in front of the TV and we're having an ICE AGE marathon, the AC is turned down and I made Lemon-Ice Chillers. So easy, ya'll! Make some lemonade (or kool-aid any flavor), pour in blender with lots of ice and voila---ICE CHILLERS! Yes, we could've just watched a movie and drank some lemonade, but see how much fun it is to do a THEME night?! My friend Michelle just did a similar family night in the theme of Christmas, and another church-planter/pastor's wife Susanne does them ALL the time! She's very imaginitive, so if you need some creative ideas, head over to her blog.

As you can see, Moriah really likes sissy's chiller better than what's in her sippy cup!

Parental Rights

Today I did something I rarely do. I contacted my senators. There is a treaty that the UN wants all nations to ratify called the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child. So far since '89, every nation has ratified it except the US & Somalia. I have been studying this all day on ParentalRights.org because of this letter that just came out today and I'm trying to understand more about it. Here is an explanation and more info from here:

"The UNCRC is an international treaty focused on promoting the rights of children and seeking to give children priority in the implementation of governmental measures. The Convention claims to offer a road map that will guide government officials in the improvement of laws and policies, by defining which rights the government should give to children."

"This poses a serious threat both to parental rights and to U.S. sovereignty, as the UNCRC dictates not only that the federal government must intrude into the family sphere to an unprecedented degree, but also how the federal government is to monitor and govern the actions of our families. Parental rights would be replaced by "the best interests of the child" as defined, ultimately, by an international committee of 18 people in Switzerland."

The solution is an amendment to keep the UN from controlling our children called the Parental Rights Amendment and I asked my senators to please oppose the UNCRC and support this amendment. You can sign the petition here. And pray. May God bless America.

Summer Rules @ Our House

Summer is great because we're all relaxed and free but there has to be some sanity too, so we've come up with a few rules to maintain structured freedom. How's that for an oxymoron?!

Privileges:

1 hour TV

1 hour Computer/video games

Play outside anytime

Free DVD rentals @ Family Video

Daily Requirements:

Morning routine- brush teeth, breakfast, dress

1 hour Reading/Resting (reading incentive= $1 per @level chapter book read)

Chores- Empty dishwasher, fold/put away clothes, take out trash

Keep rooms clean & help out when needed.

Cooperate with siblings.

Night time routine- shower, brush teeth (For some reason, we don't remember to brush our teeth unless it's required. Breath odor doesn't seem to be consequence enough...yet.)

Obedience brings blessings. Disobedience brings consequences.

Requirements fulfilled= extra privileges

Requirements unfulfilled= take away privileges

That's how we roll.

for Moms

What's a Grandmother?

A Letter from a Third Grader  

(something I had copied and given to my mom when I was pregnant with Luke)

A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own.  She likes other people's little girls and boys.  A grandfather is a man grandmother.  He goes for walks with the boys, and they talk about fishing and stuff like that.  

Grandmothers don't have to do anything except to be there. They're so old that they shouldn't play hard or run.  It is enough if they drive us to the market where the pretend horse is, and have lots of dimes ready.  Or if they take us for walks, they should slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.  They should never say "hurry up."

usually, grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.  They wear glasses and funny underwear.  They can take their teeth and gums off.

Grandmothers don't have to be smart, only answer questions like, "Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?"

Grandmothers don't talk baby talk like visitors do, because it is hard to understand.  When they read to us they don't skip or mind if it is the same story over again.  

Everyone should try to have a grandmother, especially if they don't have a television, because they are the only grown-ups who have time.

A Letter to my Mom

This is a letter my mom found that I wrote her on her 42nd birthday, so that means I was 20.

Dearest Mother,

Happy birthday to you.  I wish I could be there.  I'm so thankful for the fact that I DO want to be there with you.  So many of my friends and people I know aren't close to their families.  Many would even rather not be near them.  I can't imagine what life would be like without a wonderful family.  When I think about how much I love my mom & daddy, sister & little brother, I wonder if anyone was ever so blessed.  I wonder why I got so lucky.  Then I think, I pray that I can be as good of parents as mine so that my children will see me the way I see mine.  I know why it's so hard to grasp how much Jesus loves me, because I don't know how anyone could love and care about me more than you.  Mom, thank you for being you.  Thank you for having me.  I love you very much.   -heart-  sally

Besides the sentiments I had at such a young age, I'm also blessed that she kept this letter all of these years.  Well not THAT many, but a few.

Mother's Day

Moms are amazing people.  While the dads excel at providing, protecting, securing and disciplining with all the strength of Mr. Incredible, we all know that moms have some pretty amazing superpowers of their own.  For instance, does your Mom have eyes in the back of her head too?  Is she able to multi-task 15 different things in a single hour?  Can your mom put together the best tasting meal you've ever had with 3 cans of something and some seasonings?  Can she nurse you back to health with a cracker, some 7-up and a kiss on the forehead?  Is she able to ask just the question you didn't want her to ask only to find out later, she already knew the answer?  My mom was able to call me home from 3 blocks away with the power of this incredibly loud, built-in whistle.  I think my mom's best superpower was telling me, and therefore making me believe that I could do anything I set my mind to through Christ who gives me strength.  

All throughout history, we have examples of how some Super Mom's produced some amazing people.  Abraham Lincoln's mom taught him to read and made sure that he had good books to read, no matter the sacrifice.  He said, "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my Mother." Thomas Edison, whose mother died when he was very young said this:  "If it had not been for her appreciation and her faith in me at a critical time in my experience, I should never likely have become an inventor....her firmness, her sweetness, her goodness were potent powers to keep me on the right path.  My mother was the making of me."  And the Statue of Liberty, our country's model of freedom was actually a model of the sculptor's mother, because she represented a heroic and influential person in his life.  Moms have amazing superpower in the life of the ones God gives them.  

Happy Mother's Day to all of my Mommy friends around the world! 

Diapers & Dudes

 It's Baby season!   So, in an Oprah-like fashion, here is the first, and most likely only, in a series of "Baby Issues for the 2009 Parent".  

 Martin Diaper Bag  #1

Vera Bradley tote: worked well, beautiful baby girl colors, lots of pockets, I loved it!

What's the issue, you ask?  Yep, the boys know. 

Brad. hates. carrying. it.

Oh he will, he just doesn't like to.  "I need a man bag." he'd bellow, all neanderthal-ish.

So for any of you looking for a manly diaper dude bag, here's a few choices so your man will carry it for you....with pride.

For the (very small) hunter:

 For the tech-gadget addict:  *cough*  Brad 

For the still-rockin' Dad, obviously unable to grasp the reality of his inevitable future:

 And for the bag-pipe players/Mike Myers fans out there:

?

The Thing

I've been doing a lot of praying, studying, researching and reading about the next year's studies and goals for our home/school. Here is something I came across while reading Teaching the Trivium by Harvey and Laurie Bluedorn on their website....
it is a good word for anyone.

Wisdom is not bound up in the heart of a child. Parents need to teach their children how to make decisions about their life, because children will not naturally learn how to set wise goals and how to be persistent in those goals. Here (is one of the) principles for making decisions and setting goals:

Learn to sort the necessities from the niceties. Can you tell the difference between a good idea and the idea you should pursue? If you find yourself dropping what you are doing every time you meet another good idea on the street, then you will never find stability. Learn to sort the
must-dos and the should-dos from the might-be-a-nice-idea-to-dos. There are many good ideas out there – be a missionary to China, open an orphanage, run for congress – but what is the thing which God put you on this earth to do?

The Rules at our House

Definitions of Obedience/Disobedience are important in our family. Our children know what to expect based on these 2 simple definitions, taught to us by a family revival ministry called "Life Action Ministries". These are biblical boundaries we can all live by as children of God, but in our home since we are given authority over our children, these are the rules we live by....

Obedience is....
Doing What Mom/Dad says, When Mom/Dad says, With a right-heart attitude.
--Obedience Brings Blessings.

Disobedience is sin. Sin is...
Doing What I want, When I want, and I just don't care.
--Sin Brings Consequences.

On a poster on our wall, we have the 10 Commandments for Kids. The 10 commandments are God's rules for us. Jesus summed up the 10 commandments when He was asked: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matt. 22:36-40

The first 5 are summed up in: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.". The last 5 apply to 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

1. Love God more than you love anything else.
2. Don't make anything in your life more important than God.
3. Always say God's name with love and respect.
4. Honor the Lord by resting on the 7th day of the week.
5. Love and respect your mom and dad.
6. Never hurt anyone.
7. Always be faithful to your husband or wife. (or another way to put it: Keep your marriage promises.)
8. Don't take anything that isn't yours.
9. Always tell the truth.
10. Be happy with what you have. Don't wish for other people's things.

You can find this poster here or at most Christian bookstores.

Parenting

So Brad is doing a sermon series on Parenting this month and guess who's being tested, tried & downright attacked at home!? Yep, it's me. Surprise! Yesterday, out of the blue, temper tantrums came back into style from the toddler years. Every time I said yes or no to a question from a child, I didn't realize it, but I had answered wrong! It seemed everything I said was an introduction to a debate I'd begun, in which the persuasion tactics came in strong in order to win me over to the way of the younger. Rules were suddenly mere suggestions and at one point, I was even informed that my rule was....(Prepare for a Shocker:) "stupid". Yes people, Pastor's kids, though precious, aren't perfect. They are little sinners, with sinners for parents, no matter what they do for a living. So anyway, by lunch yesterday I was....done. spent. exhausted. All I wanted to do was run (no, waddle...actually lumber is the best word-- verb: to move in a slow, heavy, awkward way) to my bed, and hibernate the rest of the day, or week or month even.
ENTER: SuperPastorDad!!! With his powerful SWord at his side, with hours of Parenting studying under his belt, and the Holy Spirit as His guide, he whisks in and SAVES THE DAY!!!!
Seriously, he was like a football coach at halftime. He pep talked us back into reality. He encouraged us to press on! He had 3 points that all began with the same letter, and stories to wrap it up at the end, so we'd all continue on with strength, and maybe even a smile. We all learned a lesson yesterday. Can't say what it was, but I'm sure there was one.

Bonus: For dinner, I was laying down, hibernating a tad, and Brad came home and made dinner with the kids. There was even teaching involved. I heard math and science q&a. It was peace. It was good. He was my hero.

For Moms of Boys

Preparing Him for the Other Woman by Sheri Rose Shepherd
(A Mother's Guide to Raising Her Son to Love a Wife and Lead a Family)

He's almost a decade old, so I'm feeling an urgency to reach him now, hang on to his heart, and strengthen our relationship through the turbulent years, lurking right around the corner.

I'm reading this book, and taking notes. It's been great! I have such an incredible influence on how he grows up to view women, and what kind of husband he becomes. What an honor, and yet a very scary responsiblity at the same time!

If you have a boy, this is a must read---along with "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson, and "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge.

I'm looking forward to another baby girl, but in the meantime, my baby boy is growing up!

A Mom

This is what I always wanted to be when I grew up....

Moving with Kids

Things I've learned from reading this book and others about moving with kids:

1) Keep as much consistency as possible in a kids' life.

2) Have disposable cameras for kids to take pics at every "last event" with friends.

3) Give them their own photo album to fill with pictures.

4) Let them plan a party to say good-bye to their closest friends.

5) Have them wear t-shirts their friends can sign, or a pillowcase would be fun, too!

6) Read books about moving like: "Big Ernie's New Home"
"The Berenstain Bears' Moving Day"
"The Moving Book: A Kids' Survival Guide"
"A New House: Activity book for 4-10 year olds"

6) Give out new addresses and emails asap so they'll have mail when they get there.

7) Let them help choose the new house and dream about how to decorate their new rooms.

8) Talk about all of the fun things they can do in their new town. (i.e. Go to the Park in the middle of town, Swim at the city pool during the summer, Sleepover with cousins that live nearby)

9) Pray for confidence and courage to meet new friends.

10) Trust God to work out all of the details in your life and the kids'.

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God"
--Corrie ten Boom