A few weeks ago now, there was a day that I was thinking all day long....if I were to blog about this day it would begin like this....
Today is NOT A DAY I should be writing about. It sucks! Homeschooling sucks! I am about to blow! My kids are about to be strangled and other various things that would make you worry about me....or actually....my kids.
But I didn't write about that day, because it's gone. It came and went. That's how days are. Thank God. I go back in time to assure everyone who reads this that homeschooling is hard...let me reword that...it's dang hard. (I just watched Napolean Dynamite with my kids. They thought it was stupid, too, but they laughed....too.) I've blogged many times about h.s.ing and each time it seems I've only written about the good days. Who'd want to record the worst days? There are days that I'm so ready to scream and quit and drive down the street and enroll them in p.s. Yes, it's hard. That particular day I do remember a few choice moments in which I will now relay as best I can....and my thoughts about myself that resulted along with them.
1) Grace had lost her math book for the whole day and was crying for 3 hours looking for it. (I'm not teaching my kids responsiblity.)
b) Luke couldn't remember a multiplication fact to save his little life. (What kind of a horrible teacher am I that I can't get this smart child to memorize these multiplication facts we've been working on all year??)
3. The playroom looked like an elementary school had blown up in it. (I AM SO UNORGANIZED!)
4-I had to cattle prod Luke to do everything on his list. (It's my fault that he's not motivated and EAGER to learn.)
e. There were 3 books overdue and only 1 to be found. (I'm a failure.)
j. I had some butt-kickin' PMS. (Ouch. Ugh. and %#@&*)
So here's what I did. Went back to my bedroom, laid down in my bed and called my husband. I vented, did some lamaze breathing, prayed that God would spare my children's lives and took his advice....of which I'm sure was great but I can't remember at this moment. I think it was, just quit, and love on the kids. Hug them, hold them, and read to them. That's it.
So, that day came and went. Here is how the things were solved, if they were.
1) Grace found her book the next day. --It was under the couch. Good place for it, huh? But that's what's fun about homeschooling, you can do your math on the couch, or wherever you want.
b) Luke played Math baseball on www.funbrain.com, used his multiplication wrap-ups (www.learningwrapups.com) and was threatened with more worksheets to review and guess what? He's remembering again.
3. We cleaned up & organized the playroom......yesterday. (Hey! At least it got done.)
4. I still have to cattle prod sometimes, but he always finishes by 2 or 3 and he knows he can't do anything else (tv, video games, play w/friends) until he's done, so that's incentive.
e. Took the books back, paid the fine with kid's chore allowance.
j. PMS will be back, but here's what my sweet husband has been doing....on Fridays, he lets me sleep in, and he teaches the kids. It takes a lot to write down everything he needs to do with them, but it's worth it, and the kids love it and I think he actually enjoys it too. So EVERYONE is happy.
So, if you're considering home-schooling, please don't let me sugar coat it. It's NOT EASY. It's a LOT of work. It's KID-TIME 24/7. It's very little ME-TIME. It's difficult wondering if my kids are measuring up to other kids their age. It's not fun when people ask those prying, judging questions. It's easy to feel like a failure, because if my kids aren't understanding something, it's MY fault. I have no one to blame. It's easy to wonder if my kids are going to end up in therapy because of me. It's so easy to wonder if I'm doing the right thing. And from talking to other homeschooling moms, everyone does.
That's the reality of it. More to come...
